I miss you, Mr. A. The past three months have been wonderful and exciting. I cannot thank you enough for the time we have spent. You were a gentleman and as much as I hate to admit it, it was my fault. I pushed you away with my insecurities and the constant need for attention. Every single thing you do or did not do was given so much meaning that it drive me crazy which in the end took a toll in what should have been a wonderful relationship. As much as I blame myself for what happened, I also have to blame you. You might have some things going on with your life but that does not mean you tell me that you are too busy to even ask me how I am or just check up on me like you used too?
As soon as you said you were busy. I knew I had to end it. I knew that this time I will not put up with anything less than what I think I deserve. While I was contemplating, I realize that there were some things that I was just letting go because you were being so nice to me. I like how you were always holding and kissing my hand. How you were always cuddling up to me. I like that you made me feel very special whenever we are together and how you made me laugh because of that I ignored certain things that I wasn’t really happy about. Not with your personality but other things that I think is very vital to any relationship.
It still is a puzzle how things suddenly change so fast when you were the one who wanted to be exclusive and even wanted to be my boyfriend. There are some things that I will never know and would not be able to understand. All I know is that I liked you a lot and I wished it did not end so soon. I missed our times together.
You taught me a lesson though. Just because I was treated well, wined and dined all the time, means that I have to settle and be content. I also realized that I am still broken inside. Still lonely and craving to be loved. And until I am happy with who i am, confident that I am worth something, complete, then I can be ready to be in a relationship. Until I can show somebody how to value me and treat me the way I know I should be treated, then I will continue to be taken for granted.
So for now, I will continue to meet people. Build myself up. Practice social skills and try my best not to fall for the next guy who tries to sweep me off my feet. In the end, all men are the same (scared and coward). Except I will make sure that my future husband will do things that I would never think a man would do for a woman. Not just buy me dinners but show me that he would be the one who will move mountains and cross rivers to win my love. Treat me with respect. Court me, willingly do things for me and make me happy by just doing the little things that matter because I know that I can do all this and more for the man that I would love and respect. I know what I want. I know what i deserve. I know what I am worth. And you are not worth an ounce of what I can offer.
God does bring people into our lives for a purpose. I am thankful for you, for your kindness, your time and generosity. I will always remember you and I know you will never forget me too.